There’s been some buzz again in the genealogy community regarding a waiting period for posting memorials at Find A Grave.
Specifically, I’ve seen the suggestion for implementing a waiting period for non-family members before being able to post a memorial. Other suggestions include that only immediate family would be able to create an entry during this waiting period.
Current Policy:
The current policy at Find A Grave in a very compact nutshell is as follows:
- You can add an entry for a deceased person if there is not a current memorial for them already in the database.
- If they were cremated or do not have a traditional burial, there are options for that during the creation of their memorial.
Why are people asking for change?
There are many stories out there from Find A Grave users that had memorials of close family or friends created by someone other than direct family or close friends, usually within a very short period following the death. This is insensitive to the grieving families and does not allow time for everyone to be notified.
So what is the intended purpose of Find A Grave, anyway?
Their goal states:
"Find a Grave’s mission is to help people from all over the world work together to find, record and present final disposition information as a virtual cemetery experience.
Basically, they function as a virtual cemetery allowing people to browse cemeteries and burials from around the world from the comfort of their pajamas and laptop.What Find A Grave is NOT.
Find A Grave is not a memorial site. It is not a genealogy site.
I think a couple of things contribute to blurring the lines between online cemetery and gravesite index, and a memorialization site.
- Entries on Find A Grave are referred to as memorials. Not that I have an issue with this language being used, but I do feel this is a contributing factor to the misunderstanding of what the site is intended for.
- Lax active enforcement of site guidelines and general copyright.
The selected comments in the graphic above give a fair appraisal of the main ideas people are upset about:
- Finding out their loved one died via Find A Grave
- Someone else creating an entry for a close relative
- Someone had to take time during their grieving process to go create a memorial for fear someone else would do it first
- Someone else will make a memorial for your family or friend and then not turn it over to relatives
- Lack of privacy regarding living people's names added in copied obituaries
While these seem like good arguments at face value, I cannot seem to agree with them as reasons to implement a delay in record creation. For instance, the only way you would learn a loved one or close friend died via Find A Grave would be searching the database for living people.
Having a non-relative make a profile for a person is not against community standards or policies. By using the website and agreeing to the terms of service, you agree to this understanding. Anyone can create a profile. That is the whole point of the site: an online index of cemeteries and gravesites.
What does Find A Grave say about using newspaper obituaries and other 3rd party sources?
Directly from their FAQ:
Find A Grave does not discourage the legitimate indexing of the deceased through obituaries or other 3rd party accounts. Newspapers represent a very good source of information as a public record. We ask that those who index and memorialize the deceased from newspapers and other 3rd party accounts do so with full respect of copyright, refrain from adding information about living people, and respond generously to the family of the deceased. Find A Grave takes no position on the appropriate timing of submitting such indexes.
While many of these complainants have valid issues, the banning of memorials for a timeframe after death or creation of memorials by someone other than close friends or family will not prevent these issues from happening.
Incorrect information happens not only on Find A Grave, but also on birth certificates, death certificates, cemetery records, census records, and countless other records.
Incorrect information is a regular part of genealogical research.
We cannot use the incorrect information excuse as a reason for banning entries for a set time after death. We can, however, use the proper channels to request information be corrected to fact or corrected to exclude copyright protected or private information – first through the profile manager and then via website staff if the change isn’t made. Backing documentation is always helpful during these issues.
Overall...
The discussion on a waiting period for Find A Grave isn’t a new discussion in the community. Amy Johnson Crow discussed this several years back on her blog.
I wholeheartedly agree with a suggestion she made then, which was to stop displaying the numbers.
Many users, just as Amy recounts in her contact with the Find A Grave user who created her father-in-law’s profile before his obituary was even published, are just in it for the numbers. They want to source as many profiles as possible. By hiding numbers, we can avoid this kind of competition that breeds sloppy work.
Find A Grave is a wonderful resource, and we should recognize it for what it truly is to fully embrace what it can do for our research. It is not perfect, but it is incredibly valuable and the contributions it has made to family research over the last couple decades have been priceless.
- Patricia
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